Glass of wine in hand, the man sitting opposite me in the restaurant was in full flow. While he was droning on about his work commitments, I zoned in and out, trying to work out how I was going to get through this first date. I had expected to meet an eligible balor, but he had turned out to be so boring that he made me want to stick asparagus up my nostrils. I thought it would be a higher calibre of human. I was disappointed. Credit: Shutterstock.
While he was droning on about his work commitments, I zoned in and out, trying to work out how I was going to get through this first date. I had expected to meet an eligible balor, but he had turned out to be so boring that he made me want to stick asparagus up my nostrils.
I thought it would be a higher calibre of human. I was disappointed.
Credit: Shutterstock. A couple of years ago, I too joined an expensive matchmaking agency. I had just come out of a seven-year relationship and was on the wrong side of I soon tired of online dating and receiving messages from overweight baldies who peppered their emails with childish emojis.
I hankered to find Mr Right-for-me, a man who was suitably educated and a successful professional.
And so this is how I found myself throwing money at an upmarket matchmaking agency in central London. I imagined my handsome date: cashmere polo neck, a bit academic and kind. We'd eat steak tartare and swap notes on our latest box-set find and favourite novels.
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The reality was an array of terrible mats, a growing sense of alarm and a flaming row in a flash restaurant in lsea. The first indication that all was not as I had expected came when I met my personal matchmaker at a Park Lane hotel for "tea and an interview".
We chatted about holidays in Spain, men with bad haircuts and my ideal date.
I love people," she trilled. I told her how I loved folk music, my favourite film was The Deer Hunter and I enjoyed weekends in the countryside.
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So far, so banal. A few days later, she emailed me with the details of W, "a successful entrepreneur who had travelled extensively and also liked folk music".
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When I met him at a pub in Richmond, I was shocked. I was expecting a cultured and dynamic man, instead I got a man in a pair of jeans, a moth-eaten jumper and the table manners of a modern-day Baldrick. And therein lies the rub.
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