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Date destinations like Barton Springs and the Greenbelt mean hairy backs, tramp stamps, weird moles, and any number of other odd physical attributes make their debut early on. In other words, being shallow has never been so easy. Or at least efficient. Because everyone you date is in a mediocre band. And Round Rock? Might as well be Canada.

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Date destinations like Barton Springs and the Greenbelt mean hairy backs, tramp stamps, weird moles, and any number of other odd physical attributes make their debut early on.

In other words, being shallow has never been so easy.

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Or at least efficient. Because everyone you date is in a mediocre band. And Round Rock?

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Might as well be Canada. He also happens to have considerably less crappy taste than you do.

That thing with the coffee and the bagels And you have carpal tunnel syndrome. Lone Star keeps love cost effective.

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Every Internet date starts or ends here: a bar close to home, open late, and convenient for both bailing and banging. The bartender knows your name.

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Get ready, because there are a lot of margaritas and Embassy Suites overnighters in your future. Maybe some SeaWorld, too.

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